Sunday, September 25

Today was a beautiful day!
Bright sunlight and warm wind filled the church and, as it often seems to at this time of year, light cast rainbow-coloured shadows on the pillars in the sanctuary. Looking at their colours made me think, as Andrew talked about the many years during which St. Andrews has been a church in the same place as the city has grown around it, about how the shadows have, do and will fall the same way each fall, and that the rainbows will most likely to appear each anniversary Sunday. Regardless of the advance of time, the season will bring the same direction of light. Coming to church this morning, after opening our daughter's birthday presents (because St. Andrew's birthday is her birthday too!) and watching the police memorial parade, especially when listening to Andrew talk to the children about lost gifts, lead me to reflect upon all of the imperfect and heartfelt contributions of those who have acted for the common good.

Ottawa's police, to whom I waved today, and to whom I feel a great deal of gratitude, are in a lot of trouble right now for a series of ostensibly unrelated assaults and misconduct allegations. These allegations speak to systemic problems. As a one time defence lawyer, I am both grateful to and wary of police. I am deeply ambivalent about the militaristic pomp of the police memorial. Thinking about my daughter's birthday made me wonder what my parents gave me on my seventh birthday: I don't remember. I have ambivalence about that too, thinking that everything I have done for my children, my parents worked hard to do for me. Hundreds of years of church history at St. Andrews are a legacy for which I feel deep gratitude, and with which I feel somewhat disconnected, being a relative newcomer to this city with no roots in Ottawa, with all of the family names celebrated on the church windows and walls that belong to another time also being unfamiliar to me.

It is a lot of things pulled together, like the wind rushing into the sanctuary when the doors opened after the service, like the rainbow patterns on the walls, a swirling of many things, and greatest among them for me today gratitude. I am grateful that others built this church: grateful that my family has been welcomed into St. Andrews' church family and hopeful we can for many years become part of its history. I am grateful for the contributions of the police to my safety and that of others. I am grateful for my own family. In the paradoxical way that it is possible, I am grateful for lost and forgotten gifts. They may be gone but a legacy is left by the intentions of justice, love and peace in their giving.

Rebecca.

Sunday, September 18

Today's passage from the gospel according to Mark described the beginning of Jesus' ministry in Galilee. Calling Simon, Andrew, James and John to follow Him, they obey immediately and follow Him. In his sermon, our Andrew talked about Bonhoeffer's interpretation of this passage as an example of the absolute authority of Jesus Christ. Because it is Jesus who calls them, the first four disciples obey and follow without question, without reason. Andrew went on to talk about how our faith follows our obedience. We obey and follow not because we have faith, but have faith because we have obeyed Jesus' call. He also noted that our call is not personal but corporate: Jesus Christ calls us all, all humankind, to put down our nets and follow Him.

This seemed the perfect passage for the beginning of the Sunday School season. The gathering of children to hear the good news and learn how we, as Christians, are called to live, but also because our children do not take themselves to church: they are brought. Before they are old enough to understand why, we teach them the truth of Jesus Christ. They learn of our collective devotion to God and His devotion to us long before they can begin to understand what such devotion means.

As I was contemplating the message in today's sermon this morning, I wondered: where does love fit in? If we obey God's call first and then understand what that means and develop our faith afterward, when do we apprehend the love of God? If we follow because we perceive the power and authority of Jesus Christ, when do we perceive His love and His faithfulness? As I sit writing this post, however, I'm struck by the thought that perhaps God's might is made manifest, in part, in His love. Is it in His love that God's authority declares itself? Admittedly, my personal bias and lens is that of a parent and mother, but I see a similarity in my relationship with my children - one founded on love but also authority - and the manner in which Andrew described our collective response to Christ's call.

People often talk of wishing to have "the faith of a child". Obedience without understanding. Following without questioning. Believing without reasoning. We are called to emulate this, to cast down our nets, our preconceptions, our goals and priorities and follow Jesus, not for some wise or clever reason, but simply because He is LORD.

- Darlene

Sunday, September 11

This morning, I'd walked into the church emotionally charged. The anniversary of 9/11, little Kienan was returned to his family, stuff going on at home... I'd packed extra kleenex and prepared myself for more emotions.

But it was the musical approach that drew my mind to where it was supposed to be:

Day by day, Dear Lord, of thee three things I pray:
To see thee more clearly,
Love thee more dearly,
Follow thee more nearly,
Day by day.
(St. Richard of Chichester)

It reminded me that that's what is important. Our macro-vision is not the whole story, and I may not understand why things happen, but I can "Follow thee more nearly" every day.

I'm looking forward to continuing on as Andrew teaches through the Gospel of Mark. The beautiful autumn morning, the celebration of baptism, (and enjoying the soft baby noises during the service), the whole worship service made me ready for a fresh, new beginning. Especially with news so important as this: Jesus the Christ has come to humankind.

What about you, what did you bring home from church this Sunday? What spoke to you?